Cullen Boys Fall Camping Trip
by Carlisle Cares
Summary: Jake and Seth talk Carlisle, Edward, Jasper & Emmett into going camping for the weekend to bond as the men in the Cullen Family. They leave the Cullen Girls behind to have a slumber party. This is the first such camping trip since they have become a family. Warning: May contain light discipline so be warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – Camping?**

_**Carlisle:**_

I was sitting in my study working on my usual patient papers when my two young wolf sons came in. They were acting uneasy like there was something they needed to tell me. I looked up at them and they both smiled at me.

"Yes boys," I said to them.

They nervously looked to one another trying to get the other to speak first. Jake nudged Seth's arm and indicated for him to start the conversation. Seth nervously shook his head 'no' and indicated Jake should proceed.

"What is it boys," I asked them hoping this would break the silence.

"Uh…dad…we were wondering if…" Seth began but then stopped and looked to Jake to continue the conversation.

"If…what?" I asked trying to draw it out of them.

"Dad, can we go on a camping trip for the weekend?" Jake asked suddenly finding the nerve.

"With whom and where?" I asked him.

"With us…all of us guys," Jake stated.

"What guys?" I inquired.

"Us…Seth, Em, Jazz, Eddie and you…and us of course," Jake said.

"A camping trip? Why do you want to go on a camping trip?" I asked. I have to admit this was not my forte', but my sons seemed so enthused about this.

"Cause it would be fun. Just the guys, you know, going out and enjoying nature," Seth explained.

"We eat nature, Seth," I said jokingly but somewhat seriously.

"Ha, good one Dad," Seth said grinning.

"Come on Dad, it will be fun. We can build a campfire, put up tents, roast marshmallows, roast food, rough it, like camping people," Jake said.

"Jake, your vampire brothers and I had enough roughing in our old times," I explained.

"Come on Dad, don't be a kill-joy. We can have a great time carrying on and just being men together," Jake said trying to entice me further.

"Well, lets see what your brothers say to this," I said. I then summoned the others into my study.

"Oh man, what'd we do now," Emmett asked with disgust.

"I didn't do it Papa, it was Emmett," Jazz said quickly.

"Hey, shut up civil war vamp," Emmett said shoving his brother.

"Stop it, that will be enough of that," I said to them. They straightened up and gave me their attention as they growled at each other. "Boys!" I said warning them.

"So what do you leeches think about us guys going on a fall camping trip this weekend," Jake said to his brothers.

"Not much," Edward said uninterested.

"What for? I'm not sitting out in the woods all night," Emmett said. "Besides, I hate those owls. They give me the creeps they way they hoot and holler all night."

"Man, for a vampire you're the biggest scaredy cat I've ever seen," Jake said to him.

"Hey, I'm sensitive," Emmett replied.

"More like senseless," Jake came back.

"Watch it, wolf bro," Emmett said cracking his knuckles.

"I think it would be great to go on a camping trip. Reminds me of the old days when I was a youngster," Jazz said happily.

"See, Jazz wants to go. Come on, knuckle-boy, get with the program," Jake said to Emmett.

"Hmmpf, if Jazz goes, I guess I can come," Emmett relented.

"Well, Ed, what about you," Jake prodded him.

"If Dad goes, I'll go," Edward said. Edward looked at me knowingly as if I would say no and he would not have to give in and go. Instead I surprised him.

"Maybe this would be a good thing for us to do," I admitted.

"Oh come on Dad, you of all people, why would you want to purposely stay out all weekend in the woods?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Like I said, this may be a good thing for all of us to get away together and bond as the male members of the family," I suggested.

"Ug, we men…we go forage for women…ug…ug…" Emmett acted out now shoving Jazz and Edward.

"Cut it out you Neanderthal!" Edward said to him.

"We're going camping, not looking for the missing link," Jazz said.

"We already found that," Jake said pointing toward Emmett.

"Hey, I'm not missing," Emmett said to Jake.

"I rest my case," Jake said pointing with both index fingers towards Emmett.

"Then it's settled, we will go camping this weekend. It will give the girls a chance to be together and have fun," I said. "By the way, what did you do Emmett?"

"What do you mean Pops?" Emmett asked.

"When you came in the room, Jazz said he didn't do it, you did it. What did you do?" I asked him with my arms crossed.

"Thanks a lot Jazz! Uh…I…uh…kinda messed up Momma's flower garden but I put the flowers back in the holes," Emmett quickly said.

"You mother will find out. What were you doing that you messed up her flowers?" I asked him further.

"Come on Pops, do I have to say it," Emmett whined.

"Yes! Now what happened," I asked.

"I threw a ball at Jazz and he missed and it landed in the flower bed and tore up some of her flowers. We put them back though," Emmett said.

"Go tell your mother what happened," I ordered him.

"Oh man, come on Pops," Emmett complained.

"Go!" I said to him pointing to the door. Emmett begrudgingly went down to talk to his Momma.

_**Friday Night:**_

Friday night came and we were getting ready for our camping trip. The boys took along a few changes of clothes and Jake and Seth brought a supplies and camping gear they had from their former homes. They each had a tent and sleeping bag. We didn't need a tent or sleeping bag, but if it rained we could duck in for cover with them. They were excited packing up Emmett's jeep. Esme had packed a huge duffle bag full of food, drinks and snacks for Seth and Jake. They would not go hungry. We were getting ready to leave and the girls were standing outside the garage waiting for us to leave. They were going to have a slumber party while we were gone and had invited Sue Clearwater over to join them. They were going to discuss Sue and Charlie's upcoming wedding. I grabbed my medical bag and packed it with all kinds of outdoor aids in case Seth or Jake got injured. Hopefully, I would not have to use it. I always brought it to be safe. I walked out with my medical bag and a few items of clothing in a duffle bag.

"Hey, why is Dad bringing his medical bag," Seth asked.

"Are you kidding? It's Dad! We're lucky he's not wearing a suit," Edward explained.

"Ha ha ha, wearing a suit! That would be something," Jake said laughing. "Maybe he has silk pajamas, a robe and slippers too," Jake laughed.

"Ha ha, yeah, and a ton of hair spray. You know how he is about his hair," Emmett teased.

"I can hear you, you know," I said to them without turning around.

"I always forget about that vampire hearing," Jake said shutting up.

"Oops, we better stop before he gets upset," Jazz said grinning. "Papa, did you bring a towel and wash cloth and soap?"

"No, but I did bring my belt," I said to them.

"Boy he sure knows how to kill a mood," Jake said.

"Well, lets get going while its still light," Edward said.

"Nice try, son," I said to him.

We said goodbye to our wives and Leah and we all piled in and headed out for a campsite. We were driving up and away from our woods but not too far away. Jake and Seth knew of places they camped with the pack and their tribe at times. We let Jake show us the way. After a bit, we arrived at a wooded spot by the river. It was a beautiful place. Jake and Seth seemed at home there. They put up the tents and got the campsite ready since they were used to this.

"You boys need any help," I asked them.

"Let them do it, they're the Native Americans here," Emmett said. "We would probably be in their way."

"Em's right. Just let us do it. Wouldn't want you vampires to get your talons dirty," Jake laughed.

"Laugh it up wolf bro," Jazz said to him.

Jake and Seth made a great campsite for us. They had a fire going and put their tents up and had everything where it needed it to be. They even had cooking equipment. They then dug into the bag of food Esme had packed for them and made some hotdogs over the fire. They quickly gobbled them down. They had worked up an appetite. I was reading a book by a tree. They even brought lawn chairs.

"Hey Dad, you want Seth and I to set up an office for you over there," Jake teased.

"No, I'd rather have a study. I'm sure I'm going to be tanning some hides very soon," I came back at him.

"He'd like a study too," Jake said shaking his head.

"You asked, son," I said to him.

"Well, I'm bored already," Edward lamented.

"Dad, Seth and I are going to phase into wolves and go exploring, okay?" Jake asked.

"Sure, just be careful," I said to them.

Jake and Seth went behind some bushes and phased into wolves. They both took off scampering down the hillside into the woods. Edward was still bored and Jazz and Emmett were going to go exploring.

"Ed, come exploring with us," Emmett said.

"I don't want to explore," Edward said.

"Aw, come on, we'll have fun," Emmett coaxed him.

"Oh, all right," Edward relented and joined his brothers.

I stayed at the campsite and was happy in my lawn chair reading a novel I brought along. It wasn't long and Jake and Seth came bounding back. Jake would run then sit down and scoot on his butt for a little and was whimpering. He would then get up and repeat the same thing. He whimpered some more and Seth went over to him and indicated with his snout toward me. I was wondering what was up.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked Jake.

He just shook his head and ran off to phase back. When he and Seth came back, Jake was rubbing his bottom. I noticed he would be okay and then a short time later, he would be rubbing his bottom again.

"Jake what's wrong?" I asked again.

"I don't know. I fell back there and now my butt feels funny," Jake said.

"What? How does it feel," I asked.

"It just feels itchy and then feels like stings now and then," Jake said trying to ignore it.

"Want me to take a look?" I offered.

"No, it'll be okay," Jake said steering clear of me.

Jazz, Em and Edward made their way back and we were sitting around the campfire. Jake and Seth began making something to eat for themselves. Jake again, was rubbing his backside and sat down on the ground and scooted back and forth.

"What's with him," Edward asked.

"I don't know, he said he fell and his butt felt funny," I answered.

"Funny how?" Jazz asked.

"It just feels tingly and uncomfortable," Jake answered. Again Jake got on the ground and was scooting even harder on the ground trying to find some relief.

"All right, that's enough. Come over here and let me take a look," I said to Jake.

"No Dad, it's okay," Jake said rubbing again.

"Jacob, get over here," I said pointing to the spot right in front of me.

"Oh all right," Jake griped as he walked over rubbing his rump again.

"Turn around, drop your pants and bend over," I said to him.

"Ha ha ha, that's the one thing you don't want to hear from Pops is to drop your pants and bend over," Emmett laughed.

"Come on Dad," Jake complained embarrassed.

"Jake, come on, I need to take a look," I encouraged him.

He did as I asked this time. As I looked at his bottom, I couldn't believe what I saw and wondered how this was possible with their wolf metabolism. I checked again to make sure.

"Jake, where and how did you fall," I asked him.

"It's kind of embarrassing," Jake said.

"You're kind of embarrassing so what's the problem," Emmett said laughing.

"Shut up Embryo," Jake said. "I squatted down to take a dump in wolf form and a snake ran across my hind feet. I jumped up and fell over a log and into some weeds," Jake explained. "Why, what is it?"

"Ha ha, a big huge wolf like you and you're afraid of a little snake," Emmett teased.

"Hey, I hate snakes, okay!" Jake said. "What is it, Dad?"

"Jake, you have poison ivy on your bottom," I said to him.

"What? How can that be with our wolf skin," Jake asked.

"You must be more susceptible to it and it developed fully in this short time. You should try not to irritate it by scratching and rubbing it," I explained.

"But it itches terribly. I can't help but scratch it," Jake lamented.

"I have some Calamine lotion in my bag and I can give you a shot of Benadryl to alleviate the itching. Too bad I can't treat you though," I said to him.

"Why not?" Jake asked.

"I don't have my suit with me," I said to him and smiled at him.

"I hate that vampire hearing. It wasn't me that said that, it was Edward," Jake ratted out Edward.

"Hey, you were making the remarks about silk pajamas, robe and slippers," Edward shot back.

"That's cruel Dad," Jake said shaking his head at me. He quickly pulled his pants back up.

"Good thing I love you, son," I said rubbing the top of his head with my hand. I went and got my bag and opened it up. I got the shot out and an alcohol swab. "Okay, the best way to do this is for you to lay across my lap," I said to him. The others laughed.

"No way, not me," Jake said backing away.

"Not the position you want to be in with Pops," Emmett laughed.

"What are you afraid of, did you do something that you don't want me to find out about?" I asked him giving him a glare but I couldn't help but chuckle at his wariness.

"No, it's just…who wants to be in that position in front of others…besides, I'm not too crazy about the shot…I hate needles worse than snakes," Jake said.

"Oh, now who's the baby?" Emmett teased.

"Hey, I think I heard an owl," Jake said to Emmett.

"Where? Is it close?" Emmett asked jumping up.

"You're so easy," Jake laughed.

"Jake, come on, you will barely feel the shot. I've had a lot of practice you know," I said drawing the shot up.

"Hey, weren't you the team doctor for the Gladiators in the Roman times?" Jake asked me.

"Now you should be worried about being in that position. Come here, my little wolf boy," I said menacingly to him.

"What a thing to say to Papa right before you're going to lay over his lap with your pants down! You get the "Idiot of the Week" award,"Jazz said laughing.

"Jake, over here now. Stop scratching," I ordered him. He threw his head back and scrunched up his face but slowly came over to my side.

"Can't you give me the shot through my pants?" Jake asked.

"No, now drop them and lay right here," I said patting my knee and giving him an evil laugh.

"Aw man, he's gonna whack me, I know it," Jake complained as he dropped his pants and quickly lay across my lap.

I quickly rubbed a spot with alcohol and gave him the injection. He didn't even feel it he was so worked up about his predicament. His poison seemed to have gotten worse in that short time that he had first showed me.

"Hurry up and give me the shot," Jake said nervously.

"I already gave it to you," I informed him.

"Really? I didn't feel it," Jake said. "You are pretty good for an old codger," Jake laughed. I gave him a soft whack for that remark.

"Ow, I knew he'd smack me."

I then got the calamine lotion out of my bag and got a gauze bandage out. I applied the lotion to the gauze and began dabbing it on the poison all over Jake's rump.

"Ooooooooooooh! Aaaahhhhhh!" Jake yelled. "Dad that's cold! It's cold! Stop it…" Jake was yelping.

"What's wrong now?" I asked him.

"It's cold! Warm it up will you," Jake said.

"I can't warm it up, just let me dab it on you. I can't help it, it's cold," I said to him.

"It's freezing," Jake said.

"Oh, come on. You can take it," I said continuing to apply the lotion.

"Da-ad…stop…come on…enough already…" Jake whined and was trying to wriggle away.

"What is it now?" I asked him.

"It's cold!" Jake screeched. "I got goose bumps!"

"Stop wiggling and lay still. I have to get it on all the poison. You're the one drawing this out," I scolded him.

"Well, it's cold, I'm telling you…aahhh…icy cold!" Jake complained.

"That's okay Jakey, we'll wrap you in a nice warm blankie when your done," Edward teased him.

"Yeah, and we'll make you some hot cocoa," Seth said to him.

"Let's sing a lullaby to him," Jazz suggested.

"Yeah, come on…"Rock-a-bye Jakey, on daddy's lap, getting his butt dabbed, by the firelight…" they each added a verse and broke out laughing.

"Ugh, Dad, make them stop…" Jake whined.

"Boys, that's enough. Jake really is pretty miserable with this poison," I said.

"Sorry Jake, we just couldn't resist," Seth said.

"Yeah, laugh it up," Jake said disgusted. "You guys suck at singing!"

"That should do it, now let it dry and then you can carefully pull your pants up. Don't scratch it, it will only spread it," I said to him.

"How long will it take to dry?" Jake asked.

"Not long, just lay here until it dries," I said to him.

"I've never been so humiliated in my life," Jake lamented.

"This is nothing, you should see what you look like with a pink butt," Emmett said laughing. "New nickname for Jake—Pinky!"

"Great! Just great! Dad, just kill me now…" Jake said.

"Jacob!" I admonished him. "Just because you're in the 'pink' of things…" I said kidding him. The others all laughed.

"Thanks Dad, is my butt dry?" Jake asked.

"Yes, you can get up now," I said. Jake quickly got up and carefully fastened his pants. "Don't scratch now and be careful sitting, maybe you should lay on your stomach tonight and around the fire," I said to him.

"Oh this is going to be comfortable," Jake complained.

"Well, Pinky, you can always lay over Pops lap again," Emmett said chuckling.

"Duck! Here comes an owl!" Jake yelled to Emmett.

"AAAHHHH! Get it away from me," Emmett yelled running over by me. "Aw, Pinky, you tricked me!"

Just then an owl hooted loudly right above us. "Hoooot! Hooooot!"

"AAAAAHHHHHH! POPS! Make it stop, make it leave," Emmett yelled running over by me and ducking his head behind me. "I hate owls!"

"This is going to be some camping trip," I said out loud.

_**To be Continued…**_

_**Please Review!**_


	2. Chapter 2 -- Fun with Jake

**Chapter 2 – Fun with Jake**

_**Carlisle:**_

After Emmett settled down with the owl hooting, Jake and Seth were sitting around the campfire with us. Seth was beginning to yawn and so was Jake. Jake was still uncomfortable so he was either kneeling or lying on his side.

"I think it's time for you two to turn in for the night," I said to them.

"Aw, come on Dad, let us stay up later," Seth asked.

"Yeah, we want to see if we can stay up all night with you guys," Jake added. "Besides, how am I going to sleep with my butt itching?"

"Better than having your butt burning from Pops hand," Emmett teased.

"I hope an owl shits on your head," Jake said to Em.

"Jacob! Watch that language young man," I scolded.

"Come on, we're on a camping trip with just us guys! Geez, give us a break old man," Jake said to me.

"Who are you calling an old man," I asked him.

"You, you're officially my old man now," Jake came back.

"Let me introduce you to my old hand," I said holding it up to him.

"Yeah, I've met him before, several times. He's a hard, ornery old cuss!" Jake said.

"He remembers you fondly also," I said to him. "How about you two get reacquainted."

"Naw, he rubs me the wrong way," Jake said laughing.

"You're treading on thin ice, mister," I warned him.

After a while, Jake and Seth both began yawning, feeling the effects of a day outdoors in the fresh air. I envied them being in the cool fall weather and tiring from it.

"Boys, time to hit the sleeping bags," I said to them.

"How am I going to sleep with my itchy butt?" Jake pondered.

"Yeah, what are you going to do, Pinky?" Edward asked.

"Phase into a wolf and sleep that way," Jazz suggested.

"Hey, that might be easier," Jake said. "I think I will try that, excuse me, Dad, Ed, Jazz, Seth and Hooty while I go make myself into that handsome specimen of a wolf," Jake said running toward the woods.

"Hey, you guys," Edward said to his brothers coming up with some sort of scheme.

"Oh man, this is going to be great," Seth said excitedly.

"Ha ha ha ha ha, get Jake Wolf back for some of his remarks and tricks," Jazz laughed.

"Good one, Eddie boy," Em said chucking Edward on the arm.

"Hey, not so hard, Emmett," Edward said to him.

"What are you boys up to," I asked them.

"Aw Pops, we want you to be surprised. Don't worry, its nothing bad," Emmett said to me.

"Yeah Dad, Pinky won't know what's happening until its already done," Edward laughed.

"Good luck, guys, but you know Jacob, he will be out to get you, all of you," I warned them.

It wasn't long and Jake came prancing back as a wolf and was strutting his stuff around the campfire. He went into the tent and laid down on the sleeping bag. He seemed satisfied and came out looking smug at his comfy sleeping arrangements.

"What a stuck-up wolf," Jasper said to him. Jake quickly turned toward Jazz and showed his teeth at him.

"You don't scare us Pinky, we know your all bark and no bite," Emmett laughed.

Seth then walked up to Jake and was standing in front of Jake's tent. He began engaging Jake in conversation. I was watching with curiosity, as I knew this must be the prelude to whatever prank they had in mind. I decided to sit back and enjoy the show.

"Hey Jake, is your sleeping bag big enough for you to lay on in wolf form?" Seth asked Jake. Jake turned his attention to Seth and nodded yes with his massive head. That's when the fun began. I noticed Jazz taking his phone out of his pocket and getting into position where he would capture Jake, Seth and Emmett. I was wondering what that was all about. I didn't have long to find out.

Emmett began walking up nonchalantly next to Jake as if he was looking for something. When he got next to Jake's backend and tail he looked back toward Jazz and Edward. Edward gave him the thumbs up sign. Emmett nodded discreetly. Jazz put his camera up to capture a picture. Emmett then inched over closer to Jake and as Seth was keeping Jake engaged in conversation, Emmett quickly reached over and lifted Jake's tail up exposing his "pink" wolf butt dabbed with the calamine lotion. Jake quickly twisted his body around until his face and snout was even with his tail and growled and bared his teeth with a silly surprised wolf look on his face, to which Jasper quickly snapped a picture. Jake noticing the flash went after Emmett who quickly let go of his tail and ran to the side. Edward, Jazz, Seth and I were laughing. Seth almost fell into the tent he was laughing so hard.

Jake, not to be outdone, turned and strutted over to the campfire, turned his rump toward the fire, lifted his tail and let fly one of his lethal farts into the flames which flared up as high as the tree tops, scaring an owl who took off in flight but was knocked down by the heat of the fire. The owl fell on Emmett and was flapping its wings and clawing him with his talons trying to escape. Emmett was shrieking madly.

"AAAAHHHHH! Help, help! It's huge; it's as big as a man. Get it off me…Pops…help me…it's trying to carry me off…AAAAHHHHH, it can't end like this!" Emmett shrieked.

He was so panicked, when reaching to try to throw the owl off of him; he instead pushed one of its talon's into his shoulder gauging a hole in him. Venom began pouring out.

"Pops! Pops! It's a vampire owl! It's trying to turn me into an owl! Help me…Pops! AAAHHH!"

I immediately flashed over to him and grabbed the owl and got it off of him. I checked the owl over, it was okay, just shook up. I let it go and it took off and flew out the campsite faster then we can flash. I then looked over at Emmett who was still carrying on.

"Oh thanks Pops, you saved my life…did you see it, it was huge, the size of man. Must be some freak of nature. It wrapped its mighty wings around me and tried to carry me off. When it couldn't lift me, it started clawing me trying to shred me in pieces. It was horrible I tell you, horrible. I looked into its face. It had huge yellow eyes mocking me. It screeched at me right in my face and it had bad breath too. Must have just ate a horse," Emmett said getting up. "Look what it did! Pops, it clawed me and I'm bleeding venom, help!" Emmett said jumping up and showing me.

"Aww, did the big bad owl give Emmy an ouchie," Edward asked taunting him.

"Hey, it was huge," Emmett said.

"It was only a foot high," Jasper said.

"No it wasn't, it was huge. Pops tell them how you had to wrestle it off me," Emmett said.

"Em, it was only a foot high," I hated to break it to him. "Let me see that wound," I said to him.

"No it wasn't, it was as big as me," Emmett said again. "Pinky, look what you did to me," Emmett said to Jake. Jake was rolling on the floor carrying on in wolf-speak.

"It got your hand too, I will have to clean it out and bandage it until the venom heals it. It might take a day or two because the cuts are deep," I said to him. I began cleansing the wounds and Emmett began protesting.

"Ouch, ow Pops, that hurts," Emmett complained.

"What a baby, want a blood pop to suck on," Edward asked laughing.

"Yeah, you just wait, Ed bro," Emmett said to him.

"Look at this," Jazz said showing his phone to Edward. Edward began laughing.

"Let me see it," Seth said grabbing the phone. He immediately joined his siblings in laughing. "Looks as pink as Pepto-Bismol," Seth said.

"Let me see, Jazzy," Emmett said. Jazz quickly showed Emmett the picture. He began bellowing with laughter.

"Oh, Emmett! That was right in my ear! Don't be so loud, you want to scare all the animals out of the forest," I said to him. "Hold still while I bandage your hand."

Then he showed me the picture. I couldn't help but laugh also. It was hilarious. Jake in a "U" shape with his gums pulled back in a snarl and teeth bared with a silly wolf look on his face and Emmett's hand lifting his tail up to reveal his pink rump. I have to say it was quite a shot. Jake, seeing us all laugh, came over by me and nudged me hard. I still laughed.

"Send the picture to Alice so the girls can see it," Edward said to Jazz.

Jazz promptly emailed the picture as Jake ran and knocked Jazz down but it was too late, the picture had been sent. Jake dropped his head down in disgust and sauntered back to his tent and roughly laid down on his sleeping bag and pouted. I guess he was down for the night.

_**The Next Morning:**_

_**Seth:**_

The next morning we woke up and stumbled out of our camp. Dad had made us breakfast and had it covered in a skillet that was pulled out of the heat but kept warm. Jake ran off and phased back into human form. Dad had left a note saying he and the others left for an early morning hunt. We quickly gobbled the delicious breakfast down and then sat there thinking of what to do for the day.

"Hey, lets go cliff diving off those cliffs we found when we went exploring," I said to Jake.

"I can't. Dad said not to get my butt wet because it will wash the lotion off my poison," Jake said.

"Well, take the lotion along and put some on afterwards," I suggested.

"No, I can't reach it all," Jake replied. "Besides, Dad will lay into us good if he knows we went cliff diving and how will I explain being wet when he told me not to do that," Jake asked.

"We can always say we fell in the water," I said. "He doesn't have to know we went diving. Come on Jake, I miss cliff diving," I begged him.

"Me too, but Dad will kill us if he finds out," Jake reminded me.

"Well, let's not tell him," I said.

"Come on, the guy is practically psychic, he always finds out. I don't want a sore _and_ poison butt," Jake said.

"He won't spank you with poison," I said hoping this would convince him.

"Hey, that's right. Okay, lets go now before they get back," Jake said as they raced off to the cliffs. "Take your swim trunks."

We went on a hike through the woods to the cliffs we can dive off of. They are not as high as the ones by La Push beach, but they are pretty close. We were careful and tried to be quiet since we didn't know where Dad and the bros went hunting. After a short trek, we came to the cliffs.

"Hurry up Jake, change into your trunks and let's start diving so we can do it a bunch of times before we have to head back," I said practically jumping into my trunks.

"Hey, how are we going to dry off?" Jake asked.

"I don't know, we'll air dry," I said to him. "Come on, we're wasting valuable time."

We changed into our trunks and climbed up to the top of the cliffs. Jake was still kind of itchy but as soon as we got to the top of the cliff and looked over at the water below us, he forgot all about his poison ivy. We both stood and readied ourselves.

"Okay, on the count of three we both jump at the same time," Jake said.

"Gotcha! One - Two - Three!" We shouted together as we both jumped off and dove into the water waiting below us. The two of us made quite a splash and we came up and were congratulating ourselves on a perfect dive. We repeated this spectacular feat that was worthy of an Olympic medal, to us at least, over and over. We decided to go again and both dove off at different times one after the other. As we surfaced and were laughing and smacking each other's hand in our awesomeness, we were both jerked under the water. We instantly held our breath and looked down to see what had snagged us. We saw nothing below us so we looked at each other and decided to look behind us.

"MMmmmmm! Mmmmm!" Jake motioned as I looked into the face of our angry father.

Needless to say we were shocked and turned to make for the surface but he caught us by the back of our swim trunks. We managed to reach the surface and so did he. Before he could say anything, we both looked at each other and bolted forward bursting out of our swim trunks and swam as fast as we could to the surface. Dad was taken by surprise and we left him holding our two swim trunks, one in each hand and each torn to shreds at the front. We didn't stay around to see what he was going to do. We both swam as fast as we could, finally making land and began running to put as much distance as we could between our seething father and us.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Jake shouted. I immediately followed.

"Hey, we're naked," I called to Jake.

"Who cares, run for it," Jake shouted to me.

"Jacob and Seth, come back here!" Dad called to us.

We were not going back so we kept going. We began making our way around back to the campsite but I made the mistake of looking behind me. Dad was hot on our tails.

"Jake, Dad is gaining on us," I said to him.

"Phase and break to the right and I'll go left," Jake said.

We both phased into wolves and we broke left and right. Dad followed Jake and soon over took him. He tackled him down on the forest floor. He then grabbed Jake by the ear and made him face him.

"You know better than to run from me, Young Man! You were diving from those cliffs," Dad scolded Jake. Jake bowed and whimpered as Dad had hold of his ear. "You know you are not allowed to dive from the cliffs anymore. You could have gotten hurt," Dad said Jake.

I was still running until I missed a step and crashed into one of the meanest thorny vines I've ever seen. My right back paw came down on a huge thorn sticking up and I was impaled on it. I immediately howled.

_**Carlisle:**_

I was chewing Jake out for cliff diving and running from me when I heard my youngest wolf cub yipe and yelp. Jake and I both looked at each other and we darted off to find him. We came upon him and his right rear paw was anchored to a sticker bush and a big thorn had pierced it. It looked nasty and there was blood all over. Seth was panicky.

"Seth, calm down, let me take a look at it," I said trying to calm him. Seth stopped flailing but was still whimpering. It looked bad. I broke the vine off and he just had the thorn in his foot. The best thing to do was get him back to camp.

"Phase back Seth so I can carry you back to camp more easily," I told him.

Seth complied and I flashed with my now naked and bleeding baby boy back to our campsite. Upon arriving the others came to help. They knew something was wrong and saw the blood. Seth was in terrible pain. They helped me put Seth down and I looked at his foot. The thorn was still sticking in his foot and he was hurting bad.

"Dad, get it out…it hurts so bad," Seth howled.

"Hold still now, I have to pull it out and it's going to hurt," I cautioned him.

"Yuk, that looks awful," Edward said. "I'll hold his leg still while you pull it out, Dad," Edward said as he grabbed Seth's leg.

I opened my bag and poured peroxide over the wound. I then got my tweezers out and latched onto the thorn. I gave it one quick yank and it came out. I then thoroughly cleansed the wound and applied an antiseptic on it. I then bandaged it and gave Seth some Tylenol to help with the pain. He calmed down after his foot was all bandaged. I helped him into the tent and helped him dress.

"With the accelerated healing your foot should be healed in a day or two, but you will have to be careful not to hurt it. Try not to make it bleed anymore. Stay off of it as much as you can today," I told him. I carried him out to the campfire with the others.

Jake came over. He had phased back into human form and walked over to Seth scratching his backside. As he looked at Seth I smacked his hands away from scratching.

"Stop scratching," I said to him.

"I can't help it, it itches!" Jake came back. "The lotion is all off of it now."

"Of course it is. You went diving off the cliffs. Not only were you not supposed to dive off the cliffs, but I told you not to get wet because of the poison," I reminded him.

"You two went diving off the cliffs? Ooooooooooo, you two wolf boys are in for it now," Emmett teased. "Pops is going to light your butts up."

"Hey, what were you doing underwater?" Jake asked me.

"I was coming back to the campsite and I heard you two splashing in the water and laughing. I was going to surprise you and jump in the water with you. Imagine my surprise when I walked up and saw the two of you jumping off the cliffs. I decided I would slip in the water when you went to climb up the cliff again and be waiting for you when you jumped in. You didn't notice me since you were too busy slapping each others hands so I decided to teach you a lesson and yank you both under," I explained.

"Some lesson! Freaked me out, Dad," Jake complained.

"Serves you right! You know you were not supposed to dive off the cliffs or get wet. Then you ran from me," I pointed out to him.

"Well, you scared us! How would you like it if someone yanked you underwater and you came face to face with your Dad standing there like…like…King Neptune or something!" Jake said.

"Ha ha ha! Hey Pops, did you have a triton in your hands like Neptune?" Emmett asked.

"No, he had our swim trunks in each hand," Seth said.

"Swim trunks? What was he doing with your swim trunks?" Jazz asked.

"He grabbed on to our swim trunks when we turned to swim from him so we bolted and ripped our swim trunks as we swam away from him. We weren't sticking around," Seth added.

"Oh boy, you shouldn't have done that," Edward warned.

"If you wouldn't have run from me, Seth would not have stepped on that thorn," I pointed out to him. "Come over here Pinky and drop your pants and bend over."

"What? Come on Dad, not here in front of everyone," Jake whined.

"Right here, young man," I called to him pointing to the spot in front of me as I sat down on a tree stump. Jake reluctantly came over and did as I said. I then applied the Calamine lotion to his poison.

"Oooooo! Dad! What kind of spanking is that?" Jake shrieked and jumped up.

"Bend back over, I'm not done yet," I said to him.

"It's cold! I thought I was going to get it. Da-ad, that's cold, stop it…ooooo…ah…Dad…it's freezing cold!" Jake whined.

"Hush up. You washed it all off in the water so I have to put more on. Hold still, Jacob! Seth had a huge thorn in his foot and was bleeding and you can't hold still to get lotion applied to help your poison," I chided him.

"Man Pinky, you want a little toy to hold until Daddy gets done coating your butt," Emmett teased him.

"Shut up, owl boy!" Jake shouted at Emmett.

"Hey, that owl was gigantic," Emmett came back.

"It was only a foot tall," we all said together to him.

"All right, stop it all of you. Jacob! Hold still or I'm going to smack you, poison or not," I warned him. "Just this one spot yet."

"Hurry up, Dad, this is humiliating," Jake whined some more.

"Serves you right, you naughty wolf boys," I scolded them.

"Better than being over Papa's knee," Jazz said to them.

"Oh I'm sure he's not done with us," Jake said.

"That's the first thing you got right all day! You're both in trouble for disobeying me and running from me," I informed them. "Your punishment will have to wait until Seth is healed and your poison is gone." I told them.

"Oh no, you mean we have to wait for our "discussion" as you like to call it," Jake asked.

"Yes, that will be also be part of your punishment, having to wait for it," I explained.

"Oh no, Dad. Give it to me now, I can take it," Seth spoke up. "I don't want to wait for it."

"No, you're both a mess. Look at all of you, Jake's got poison ivy, Emmett gauged himself with an owl, only Emmett, and now Seth stepped on a thorn. What's the matter with all of you," I asked them.

"I guess we're not the outdoor type," Seth said.

"You and Jake are Native Americans! What'd ya mean, you're not outdoor the outdoor type," Jazz teased them.

"You should talk, Texas Calvary man," Jake came back. "You too, Emmett, you're from Tennessee," Jake pointed out. "Didn't you guys work the land?"

"Hey, listen Pink ass…" Emmett started.

"All right! That's enough. Lets try and enjoy the rest of our camping trip. Just don't anyone else get hurt," I cautioned them. "I knew I should've worn a suit," I said aloud. They all laughed. It got quiet as we just sat there looking at the fire.

"Kum-by-aye my Lord…," Jake starting singing.

"SHUT UP!" We all yelled at him as Emmett threw small stick at him.

"Dad, Emmett threw a stick at me," Jake tattled.

"Tattletale," Emmett yelled back.

"Uh oh, what's that sticking out on your neck, Emmett?" Jake asked.

"Where?" Emmett asked touching his neck.

"Oh no, it looks like…like…it can't be…" Jake went on.

"Like what? What is it?" Emmett asked slapping at his neck.

"It looks like owl feathers forming," Jake said grinning. The others were laughing.

"AAHHH! Pops, I knew that was some kind of vampire owl. Pops, help me," Emmett said sticking his head toward me.

"Oh no, his eyes are getting real round and his nose is turning into a beak," Jake teased. The others were dying.

"Daddy, help me," Emmett whined.

"Jacob, so help me…" I scolded him…

_**To be Continued…**_

_**Please be kind and Review!**_


	3. Chapter 3 -- Pack Retreat

**Chapter 3 – Pack Retreat**

_**Carlisle:**_

It was getting dark on the second day of our camping trip and Jake and Seth were hungry as usual. Since we vampires fed this morning, we would be sustained for about 2 weeks if we had to be. I began making supper for the boys. I was frying hamburgers and potatoes for them.

"Wow, that smells good, Dad," Seth said hungrily eyeing the food.

"Turns my stomach," Edward said with disgust. "I wish the wind was blowing the other way."

"Move downwind then," Jake said. "It smells scrumptious to me."

"You sniff your own wolf ass," Emmett said causing the others to laugh.

"That's enough with that language," I cautioned Emmett. "That was not very nice either, stop it Em," I warned him.

"I don't sniff my ass, owlet," Jake sounded off at Emmett.

"I said enough with the language," I now warned Jake.

"I wasn't even talking to you, owlie," Jake said again.

"Enough, supper is ready for you and Seth," I said to Jake. They both inhaled the supper before them. There was nothing left but the pans I fried the food in. "Go down to the stream and wash the pans out," I instructed Jake.

"Why me?" Jake asked.

"Because Seth can't walk with his foot bandage. I have to check that again, Seth," I reminded him.

"It's okay Dad," Seth said.

"No, I need to check it, now come over here," I called to Seth.

"But it'll hurt when you take the bandage off. It bled in there. Just let it alone," Seth said.

"Seth, right now," I said pointing to right in front of me.

"It's better than dropping your pants and bending over in front of him like I had to do for my poison ivy," Jake laughed.

"Go wash the dishes," I said to Jake.

"Yeah, well my ass still itches Dad, so I shouldn't have to do the dishes either," Jake complained.

"If I hear one more of you use that language again, I'm going to do something about it and you won't like it," I warned them all. "Jake, go to the stream and wash those dishes. Seth, get over here right now." I ordered them.

Jake went to clean the dishes, grumbling all the way. Seth finally came over and sat down in front of me and lifted his foot up to me.

"Be gentle with my foot, I only have two of them," Seth whined.

"Four when you're a wolf," Emmett said.

"Hey, lets throw the baseball back and forth," Jasper said to Edward.

"Who brought a baseball?" Edward asked.

"I did, just in case we got bored," Jasper said pulling it from his knapsack.

"At least its something to do since we can see in the dark with no problem. Come on, we can throw it back and forth. You in, Emmett?" Edward asked.

"No, I'm staying here by Pops. It's getting too dark and that owl may be out looking for revenge," Emmett said scanning the area for birds.

"Now I've heard everything," Edward said as he and Jazzy walked off to play catch.

It wasn't long and Jake and came back with the clean dishes. He put them in the tent and looked around for something to do. He flopped down by Seth and noticed Jasper and Edward missing.

"Where's Jazz and Ed?" Jake asked.

"Playing catch with a baseball," I said.

"Who brought gloves and a baseball?" Jake asked.

"Jazz, he just brought the baseball. We don't need gloves," Emmett said.

"Isn't it too dark to see the ball?" Jake asked.

"No, we can see in the dark like its light out yet. We don't need light, we just have it at home to look normal," Emmett said.

"You don't need light to see you're not normal, Em," Jake said laughing.

"Bite me," Emmett said to Jake.

"Don't mind if I do," Jake said walking over to Em.

"Pops, get the wolf bro away from me," Emmett complained.

"Jacob, stop it," I said to him. "I'd like to have at least one evening where there is no chaos or anyone getting hurt," I said to them.

"My butt still itches," Jake said rubbing it again.

"Stop rubbing it," I told him. "Go watch Edward and Jazz play ball," I suggested.

Seth and Jake did just that as I got my novel out and settled down by the fire reading my book. Jake helped Seth since he couldn't walk too well by himself. Emmett stayed by me and kept an eye out for owls or sounds of them.

"You don't hear or see any owls do you Pops?" Emmett asked me.

"If I do, you'll be the first to know," I said to him not looking up from my book.

"Great, I'll stay here and keep you company," Emmett said putting his Ipod in his ear. He then began singing to the songs out loud.

"Emmett, I'm trying to read my novel, do you mind?" I asked giving him a look.

"No, Pops. I don't mind, go ahead," Emmett said as he kept singing out loud.

"Emmett!" I called to him giving him my 'dad' look.

"What?" Emmett asked clueless.

"I said, I'm trying to read my novel," I said again.

"Yeah, I heard you, go ahead, you're not bothering me," Emmett said again chiming out the song. He then stood up and was doing the air guitar.

"Emmett! Emmett! EMMETT!" I yelled to him standing up.

"Oh, you want to dance and do the guitar with me, Pops," Emmett said noticing me standing now.

"Stop it! I'm trying to read and I can't with you yammering around trying to sing the songs out loud," I yelled to him.

"Oh, sorry Pops," Emmett said now stopping and looking at me. "I feel so silly," He said with his grin.

"Why don't you go watch the others playing catch," I suggested to him.

"No, the owls are out there," Emmett said.

"They won't be anywhere the boys are making noise and throwing a ball back and forth," I said hoping this would make him go join the others.

"Oh, alright I'll go watch them, but if I hear an owl, I'll be back," Emmett said as he started to leave.

Just then Jake came running back, he was running as fast as he could and almost crashed into Emmett before stopping and falling forward into my arms. I caught him before he fell.

"Dad, Edward and Jazz are hurt," Jake said out of breath. "You have to come."

"Now what happened?" I asked.

"They were throwing the ball back and forth and they threw it up in the air and they both went to get it but crashed into each other and they knocked their foreheads together. They both fell back and they are holding their heads and moaning," Jake said still trying to catch his breath.

"Come on, let's go," I said running with the others right behind me.

I got to the clearing where they were playing and both Edward and Jasper were sitting holding their heads in their hands. Seth had waddled over to them and was trying to help. I flashed up and got to them. Jake and Emmett arrived right behind me and joined me.

"Boys, are you okay, let me have a look," I said as I raised Edward's head up.

He hand a large bump forming on his forehead on the right side. I could see the venom gathering under the lump. They usually don't get hurt if they bump into each other but this bump had to have some force to cause a bump like this. It is similar to a bump and bruise on a human. I checked Jazz out and he had a matching bump on the left side of his forehead. He was rubbing his head also. I checked them over and looked into their eyes. The lumps will go down but it will take a day or two for the venom to stop pooling and redistribute back into their bodies. I helped Edward and Emmett helped Jasper back on the opposite shoulder where Emmett was clawed with the owl's talons. They both took it slow and sat by the fire. I pour some water on a bandage for each of them and had them hold it over their bumps. They both said it hurt. I had them just sit quietly by the fire. The cold felt good on their bumps.

"You boys must have really hit hard," I said to them.

"Yeah, they did Dad. They didn't realize the other was right there and they banged into each other. I thought they knocked themselves out," Jake said.

"We almost did," Edward said. "Boy this hurts."

"I'll say, mine's throbbing. I haven't felt that since before I was changed," Jazz said rubbing his bump.

"Try not to rub it. Just sit quietly and let the cold help," I said to them.

"I thought it was that owl," Emmett said.

"Are you still going on about that owl," Jake asked Emmett.

"It was huge I'm telling you," Emmett said.

"No it wasn't Em, it was only a foot high," Seth said.

"For crying out loud, you're all hurt! We might as well pack up and go home," I said to them.

"Yeah, who's idea was it to come on this camping trip anyway," Jake asked grumbling.

"YOURS!" We all said in unison.

"Well I didn't think we would all get hurt or poison," Jake said. "For vampires you sure are clumsy. And you tease Bella about being uncoordinated," Jake said to them.

"You and your stupid ideas Jake. Why couldn't we go to a hotel or have a guy's weekend trip to a resort or something? Why did it have to be outdoors and camping? Who camps anymore anyway?" Edward growled at Jake.

"You're all a bunch of wusses," Jake said.

"Look who's talking, Pinky!" Jasper said.

Just then we heard footsteps through the woods and the leaves on the forest floor rustling. It sounded like several people coming near us.

"What's that?" Seth asked.

As Seth asked that questions, several forms took shape right at the edge of our campsite. We could see several men staring at us through the cover of the woods.

"AAAHHHH! It's that vampire owl and he brought reinforcements! I told you, Pops!" Emmett screeched.

"Emmett?" Someone said from the forms in the woods.

"Huh? Who wants to know?" Emmett asked.

"What are you Cullen's doing out here?" A familiar voice asked.

"Sam?" I said now realizing who it was.

"Carlisle, what are you doing out here?" Sam asked as he and the rest of the pack came into our camp.

"Jake talked us into going camping for the weekend, just us guys," Jasper said before I could answer.

"Why would you camp outside?" Sam asked.

"Isn't that where you usually camp," I asked Sam.

"Not anymore. We stay in the lodge across the way from here. It's right down from here. We built it a few years ago when we want to go camping," Sam explained

"A lodge?" Emmett asked.

"The pack was tired of camping out since they are out in the woods so much as wolves. We wanted a nice warm lodge to stay in, so we all pitched together and built it." Sam explained.

"Did you know about the lodge Jacob?" Edward asked.

"Sure, but I thought it would be better to rough it out in nature like back in your days," Jake said to us.

"Come here, Jacob," I said crooking my finger at him and giving him a glaring look.

"Dad, why do you look upset?" Jake asked.

"Come over to Papa and let him explain it to you, you knucklehead," Jasper said.

"What's the matter with you?" Jake asked looking at Jasper like he was crazy.

"Idiot!" Edward said to Jake. "We could have been in a nice warm lodge and you have us out here in the wilderness!"

"That's what camping is, being one with nature," Jake said. "You guys are such weaklings!"

"Jacob, come here son," I said beckoning him again.

"Enough with the nature, we like the lodge. It's nice and cozy. There's plenty of room for all of you too if you want to join us. Surely you didn't sleep out here last night did you?" Sam asked us.

"Yes we did and it was miserable," Emmett said. "I got attacked by a vampire owl!"

"I bet it was miserable, but you guys don't sleep so…a vampire owl?" Sam asked incredulously. The rest of the pack started laughing.

"It was huge and it tried to carry me off. Look how it clawed me," Emmett said going over to Sam and showing him his shoulder. Sam just did a double take at Emmett.

"It was only a foot high!" We all shouted together.

"It wasn't a vampire owl either," Jazz said. "Doofus here, thinks it was."

"I had him believing feathers were starting to poke out of his neck," Jake said laughing. The Pack laughed again.

"Jacob Cullen, come over here," I said to him again.

"Uh…how about you talk to me from…over there…Dad," Jake said backing away from me.

"Oh no, I want you to come over here, right in front of me," I said pointing to the spot right in front of me.

Jake turned to run from me but ran right into Sam. He smiled at Sam. Sam turned him around and Jake was now face to face with me as I had flashed over and stood behind Jake as he bumped into Sam.

"Ha ha! Hi Daddy!" Jake said waving at me. I reached forward and grabbed him by his arm and pulled him toward me.

"Billy thought he saw smoke from a campfire last night," Sam said.

"Billy's at the Lodge too?" Jasper asked.

"You knew about this lodge and you had us stay out here," I shouted at Jake. "I have a good mind to turn you over my knee right here in front of everyone," I said warningly to him.

"Go ahead Dad, give it to him good," Edward yelled.

"You can't Dad, my ass still itches," Jacob said to me.

"Your ass itches?" Sam asked.

"It's a long story," Seth said.

"How come you guys are all bandaged up?" Embry asked.

"Jacob Cullen, you're lucky you got poison ivy on your butt!" I said menacingly to him. I still had him in my grasp.

"Poison ivy? How could you get poison ivy?" Quill asked.

"Why don't you gather up your things and come back to the Lodge with us," Sam suggested. "The Pack will help you gather your things since your boys seem to be injured. What happened?" The pack then began packing up our things and were laughing to themselves.

"Jake fell into a patch of poison ivy in wolf form, Seth stepped on a huge thorn in wolf form, Emmett was scratched by an owl and he panicked and drove it's talons into his shoulder and hand, and now Edward and Jasper bumped into each other trying to catch a ball in the air and gave each other a bump of venom on their foreheads," I explained.

"Hey Seth, did you know about this lodge?" Edward asked him.

"Yeah, but Jake said not to tell you guys so that we could all camp outside," Seth explained.

"Ja-cob!" I said glaring at him.

"What? It was great wasn't it?" Jake asked looking at all of us Cullen's.

"NO!" We all shouted at him.

"WE sat outside all night long on these lousy tree logs waiting for the sun to come up while you and Seth slept in the tents," Edward yelled at Jake.

"I hate the outside at night! Too many owls around," Emmett squawked.

"Some vampire you are. Afraid of a little owl," Jake yelled back at him.

"It was huge!" Emmett shouted.

"I can't believe we could have been in a lodge and not out here in the open," Jazz said shaking his head.

"All right enough! We are going to the Lodge with the Pack and then Jacob Cullen, you and I are going to have a little chat," I said to him with a smirk on my face.

"Oh come on Dad, you loved it," Jake said.

"Not as much as you're going to love it when I'm done with you," I said to him. Jake got a worried look on his face.

"Come on, Carlisle. Billy will be glad to see you. He'll probably laugh too," Sam said chuckling.

"See, everybody's happy," Jake said trying to make light of the situation.

The Pack got us all ready to move out and we made sure the campfire was out. We followed the Pack to the lodge. It was huge. It wasn't anything fancy, but at least it had a lot of room and had a kitchen area, bed area, a shower and bathroom and open space to just hang out. They did a great job building this thing. We didn't know it was here since we never venture into their land. Only when invited and we never went this far into their land before. Billy was shocked to see us but was happy to have us come and stay with them. He couldn't believe we stayed out all night. He nudged Jake and gave him a look.

"What's the matter with you Jacob, why didn't you just bring them here," Billy asked them.

"I thought they'd like to camp outside like the olden days," Jake said.

"Have you ever seen them do that kind of thing before?" Billy asked him.

"Well, no, but I thought they'd like it," Jake answered.

"Yeah, we always go outside and sit all night Jake," Emmett said nudging him on the shoulder.

"Hey, watch it owl boy," Jake said smacking him back.

"Ouch, my shoulder," Emmett said rubbing his sore spot.

Sam and the pack put our stuff down in the lodge and gave Jake and Seth a bed to sleep him. I decided to check over Seth's foot since we were inside now. It looked fine but I had him take a shower and then I bandaged his foot again and applied antibiotic ointment on it. It was set now for the night. I checked over Edward and Jazz and put a bandage over their bumps just to remind them it's there and to take it easy. I then turn my attention to Jacob and instructed him to take a shower and then to come out and report to me. He begrudgingly came out dressed in pajamas and shuffled over to me. I was seated on a chair and he stood right in front of me. The others were all sitting around watching the scene unfold.

"Oh boy, we get to see Jakey boy answer to his new daddy, Dr. Cullen," Embry laughed.

"Yeah, gonna get your tail warmed in front of us, Jake," Quill said teasing him.

"Drop your pants and lay across my knee, my wolf boy," I said to Jake.

"Come on Dad, not in front of everyone. I didn't do anything wrong," Jake whined.

"Do as I say, young man," I told him. He hee-hawed around some more trying to stall. "You're only prolonging it," I warned him. He finally dropped his pajama bottoms but left his briefs on. He then lowered himself over my lap. "That's better," I said as I pulled his pants down.

"Oh, Jake's gonna get it now," Paul said happily.

"Yes he is," I said looking at Paul.

"This is humiliating Dad. I hope you realize you're scarring me for life," Jake moaned.

"Hush, it will be over in no time," I said to him. I then opened the bottle of calamine lotion and began dabbing a cotton wad soaked with it on his poison ivy.

"Ooooooooo! That's cold! Come on Dad, it's freezing," Jake yelped.

"Oh hush up. I've been doing this every night since you drug us out here to camp. Aren't you used to it by now?" I asked as I continued applying the lotion.

"NO! It's still cold! Da-ad, it's freezing! I'm shivering," Jake barked.

"Want me to give you something to warm you up?" I asked him.

"No, not what you're thinking," Jake griped. Jake then started wiggling and trying to avoid the lotion.

"Hold still young man!" I ordered him. "Only a little more, now cooperate!"

"What a bite. I thought we were going to get to see Doc Cullen wallop Jake's hind end," Jared complained.

"AAHH! Cold!" Jake yelped.

"Will you hush and hold still," I said again.

The whole room was laughing at our exchange.

"Carlisle, I have to admit, you sure have a way with your kids," Sam said laughing.

"Yeah, it's a laugh a minute," Jake griped some more.

The others just laughed away…

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**Please Review!**_


	4. Chapter 4 -- Wolf Lodge

**Chapter 4 – Wolf Lodge**

_**Carlisle:**_

I sent Jacob and Seth to bed since it was late. The rest of the wolf pack had also turned in. Billy and Sam were sitting with me and my vampire boys, Edward, Jazz and Emmett. I can't believe we could have been indoors instead of sitting out in the woods. Jacob and I are not through discussing that. That boy.

"So, do you like the lodge or did you like being outdoors at night Carlisle?" Billy asked laughing. Sam couldn't hold back a grin either.

"I was just thinking that Jake and I need to have a little talk on this subject," I said to them shaking my head.

"Talk, Dad you need to tan his wolf hide for this. Look how much nicer it is in here and he knew about this," Jasper complained.

"I'm not going to spank him for not telling us about the lodge, but I am going to tease him about it just to make him sweat," I said to them.

"I'd tan his hide," Billy said. "He was one of the first ones to suggest we build it because he didn't like being outdoors so much," Billy said.

"Why that little snot, he kept telling us we needed to camp out in the outdoors like campers. Wait till I get a hold of him," I said shaking my head.

"Ah ha, Jake wolf's gonna get it and he hasn't got a clue," Emmett laughed.

"What did Seth say," Sam asked.

"Nothing cause Jake told him not to mention the lodge to us," Edward said. "Dad you have to get Jake for this!"

"Yeah Pops! If we would have been in this lodge, that vampire owl wouldn't have attacked me and tried to carry me off," Emmett said.

"Did he say a vampire owl?" Billy asked.

"Sure did, he believes it too," Jasper said.

"Is he on something, Carlisle?" Billy asked me.

"Nope, what you're seeing here is a full dose of Emmett in his purest form," Edward said laughing. Jasper chuckled along. "Too bad Jake isn't out here to add his take on Emmett."

"Hey, I'm one of a kind. Right Pops?" Emmett asked.

"Thank heavens for that," Jasper said. Sam and the rest of us laughed.

"You know Billy, I was thinking about this lodge. Why don't we make it a project for the wolf pack to fix up and be a place for them to stay. Then they wouldn't have to be so careful where they phase," I suggested.

"What do you mean Carlisle?" Sam asked.

"You know, make it a lodge for the wolf pack to live here instead of just camp here. You guys are always together anyway. You could improve the living arrangements to make rooms for all the pack members and visitors and make a nice living area and kitchen space. We could make the clinic here also," I added.

"That would be great but there's just one problem. We could barely afford to build just the space we have now. That's why it's so sparse and more rustic," Sam said gesturing around the bare walls.

"I would be willing to pay all the costs for this and my boys will help construct it also. We will have a builder come and help instruct the boys and teach them how to build the addition and how to put the roof on, and so on. It will be a great learning experience for them," I said with excitement at my idea.

"We can't ask you to do that, Carlisle, but that was a wonderful gesture," Billy said.

"You're not asking me, I'm offering and I want to do it. It is a way for us to thank you and the wolf pack for standing by us these many times these past few years. Plus, it will keep the boys out of trouble and they will actually learn how to build in construction and whatever else they learn. They will have to take turns cleaning, cooking, laundry, maintenance, etc. Doing it themselves will help build their confidence and make them feel like they contributed and accomplished something big," I told them hoping they would agree with me and take my offer.

"That's a lot on your part. You realize how expensive this will be," Sam said. He did seem like he was interested though.

"I have the money, it's not problem. Besides, this way we could put the clinic here and that way we could do the checkups here also. Sam you and Emily could even move in here and live here. Of course, the pack doesn't have to live here if they don't want to, they could still come here to be with the others when they wanted to. Billy you should move in here also," I said.

"I have a place, what would happen to my house or Emily's house?" Billy asked.

"Your roof leaks terribly Billy. With your current health issues, you need a nice place to stay. We could build separate living quarters for you and for Sam and Emily," I offered hoping they would at least think on it.

"Hey, we could put a gym in and I could give the guys lessons on exercise and keeping in shape," Emmett said with enthusiasm.

"You make it sound very tempting Carlisle, but it is just too much for us to accept this generous offer of yours," Billy said to me smiling.

"Billy, think of it this way, winter is fast approaching and with it comes snow and bad weather and bored teenagers. Boy teenagers, wolf shape shifter teenagers. Need I remind you what Seth, Embry, Quil and Jared came up with to keep themselves occupied when they were bored? Dirt bikes on the highway with phased wolves riding on the backs of them," I gave Billy and Sam a knowing look. Their faces said everything.

"He has a point," Billy said looking at Sam.

"Yes he does. Plus we have more wolves since the Volturi visit. Maybe this is something we should accept for the good of all around," Sam said thinking about it very seriously.

"Then I'm taking that as a yes. Esme can get with you and Emily and design and decorate the lodge for the boys. This will keep their minds off of cliff diving also. I caught Jake and Seth diving off these smaller cliffs yesterday and they are in trouble when Jake's poison and Seth's foot heals," I informed them.

"What? Diving off these cliffs? They know better than that. They were all told never to dive off these cliffs because there are too many boulders and rocks that slide down these cliffs. There could be rocks under water that were not there on a previous visit. They need their hides warmed up," Billy said a little angry. "Wait till I see Jake and Seth tomorrow when they get up."

"Uh oh, the wolfies are in trouble," Emmett said chuckling.

"Sam you should have never got them into cliff diving," Billy rebuked him.

"You're the one who got them to dive off the cliffs?" I asked Sam with a little irritation.

"Uh, guilty as charged," Sam admitted.

"You're not too old to be put over the knee, mister," I said to Sam as he suddenly became embarrassed.

"Hey Sam, just so you know, Pops isn't kidding," Emmett let him know. Sam looked a little sheepish.

"No, I'm not," I said glaring at Sam.

Sam suddenly became very uncomfortable and moved closer to Billy and away from me. Edward and my boys were laughing at Sam's sudden desire to be as far away from me as possible.

"Come on Carlisle, we don't do it any more since you are so against it," Sam offered.

"You better not or you know what's going to happen if it cliff diving makes a reappearance," I said with a smirk and glint in my eye.

"Are you just teasing me, Carlisle?" Sam asked a little unsure.

"Somewhat, but not really," I said to him. He once again stepped back.

"Don't ever try to deny anything either cause Pops always finds out and then you'll really get it," Emmett said.

"Speaking from experience Emmett?" Sam asked.

"You bet," Emmett said. Everyone laughed.

"Maybe we should build a woodshed also," I suggested.

"That might not be a bad idea," Billy said smiling.

"Oh that they like," Edward said shaking his head.

After that Billy and Sam turned in. Sam for some reason was very anxious to go to bed and leave this conversation behind him. The others and I stayed in the nice lodge for the evening waiting for morning when our wolf friends awoke.

_**The next morning:**_

I made a huge breakfast for the sleeping wolves with the massive amount of food that Esme had packed for Jake and Seth. There was enough food there to feed the wolf pack for a week. I made scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes and toast. The smell of the food was waking up the hungry pack.

"Hey, something smells good," Jake said loudly.

"Who's cooking like that?" Jared asked.

"Chef Carlisle du Cullen," Jake said as Seth laughed.

"Man, you two are lucky," Embry added.

"Let's go eat before the rest of the pack wakes up," Seth said scurrying out the door to the kitchen.

"Oh man, jackpot!" Embry whooped.

The four of them eagerly came to the table and began taking heaps of food on their plates. Seth and Jake were helping themselves as Embry and Jared stood back not sure if they should join in or ask permission. I stood there smiling at them.

"Help yourselves boys," I said waving my hand at the banquet. Edward and Jazz helped make the food.

"Thanks Dr. Cullen," they both said as they began heaping massive amounts of food on their plates to match Jake and Seth.

"Save some for the others," I said to them.

"We better make more, Dad," Edward said as he began fixing more since a lot had been taken.

Little by little more of the pack woke up and finally Sam and Billy came out. They were surprised at the scene that was laid out before them but happily joined in and ate their share of breakfast also.

"You can come and cook for us anytime, Dr. Cullen," Embry said.

"He might just do that," Billy said. The wolf pack looked at Billy with wonder.

"Carlisle suggested we add on to the lodge," Billy explained.

"Add what on?" Quill asked.

"More bedrooms, a kitchen, large common room, even a gym," Billy added.

"With what, we're broke," Paul said.

"Carlisle has generously offered to foot the bill. He thinks it would be a good thing for all of you to build the additions and he will arrange for a builder to come and supervise. This way you will be building your own place and learn how to do it. Also, you will take care of the chores and keep yourselves busy during the winter months. What do all of you think about this?" Billy asked.

"Hey, you mean we could live here as a pack?" Embry asked.

"Yes, if we want to. Sam and Emily would move in and maybe me too," Billy said.

"You would leave our house?" Jake asked Billy.

"Yes, Carlisle will add the clinic here also," Billy told them.

"Hey, sounds good to me," Seth said.

"Emmett will come and help with the gym," I said.

"You mean the leeches will be part of this too," Paul asked a little surprised. "I knew there was a catch."

"Paul, you will treat Carlisle and his family with respect. They are our friends and they are welcome here. This will also help our bond between our families to grow," Billy said to Paul.

"Not sure I like this," Paul added.

"Paul, mind your manners. Besides, you don't have to be a part of this if you don't want to be," Sam said to him.

"Yeah, watch it Paul. That's my dad and my brothers and family you're talking about," Jake said to Paul.

"You call them leeches," Paul reminded Jake.

"That's different, they're my family," Jake said. "Don't disrespect my Dad like that."

"Billy's your dad," Paul said to him. "Not him." Paul said motioning toward me.

"Paul, you apologize to Carlisle. He is too Jake's father. You will respect him, or leave, the choice is yours," Billy said to him sharply.

"I'm not leaving so I guess I have to apologize. Sorry Doc, didn't mean to be a smart ass. Just a little taken aback by all of this," Paul admitted.

"You were born a smart ass," Jake said to Paul.

"Watch that language, you two," I warned them.

"By the way Jacob and Seth. What's this I hear about you two cliff diving on these short cliffs around here? You both know better," Billy scolded them.

"We were just having fun, we were being careful," Jake answered. "No harm came about."

"Not yet, but it will when you two get home and heal," I said to them giving them a look.

"Aww, come on Dad, we didn't get hurt or anything," Seth complained.

"You could have. You were told no cliff diving and what did you two do?" I asked waiting for their response.

"We dove off the cliffs and were almost drowned by King Neptune here," Jake said waving towards me.

"What? Neptune?" Billy asked.

"Dad saw us diving off the cliffs and went into the water and was waiting for us to dive again and then yanked us both under water. We looked to see what grabbed us and he was standing there. They don't have to breathe you know. Scared the shit out of us," Jake said.

"What did I say about language," I reminded Jake.

"Well you scared us," Jake said to me.

"I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap if I hear one more foul word come out of your muzzle," I said walking up to Jake.

"Okay, I hear you Your Highness," Jake said teasingly.

"I'll your highness you right on your rump," I said giving him a playful smack on the bottom.

"So is my spanking over then," Jake asked with hope.

"Oh no, there's more where that came from," I said to him.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Jake said smirking.

"You deserve it. Both you and Seth need your hides tanned for jumping off those cliffs. You better never do it again. Let them have it, Carlisle," Billy said.

"Don't worry, they know what's coming to them," I said giving them my 'dad' look.

"Let's move into the lodge now," Seth said.

"We're not moving in the lodge, the pack is," Jake said.

"Is everyone in agreement with adding on to the lodge?" Sam asked the pack. They all agreed.

"Hey, you mean we have to come and work too," Jake asked me.

"Yes, we're part of this too," I said to him.

"I can't Dad, I'm allergic to work. I'm a growing wolf, I need my space and freedom," Jake kept on.

"You're about to get all the space and freedom you want by being grounded to your room," I warned him.

"This is unfair. This has already been decided and we're all the slave labor. This is unfair to wolves everywhere," Jake growled.

"I think it's cool," Seth said happily.

"You would, cubbie," Jake said.

"Jacob, since you are so uncertain about this, I think you need time to think it over. You may do all the clean up after everyone is done with breakfast. Do the dishes and clean up the mess," I said motioning to the dirty counter.

"What? No way. That will take me all day," Jake complained again.

"Then you best get started son," I said clapping him on the shoulder.

"See, this is how it starts! Everyone be wary, this could happen to all of you. Open your mouth just once and they pounce on you. This is going to be great. We'll be doing all the clean up with the building too. Probably make us count the nails for punishment too," Jake grumbled.

"That's a great idea. Billy, write some of this down so we have a good list of punishments to hand out. You know there is going to be rough waters through this," I said to him.

"You're right Carlisle. But know this now; Carlisle has the right to punish any of you in the pack. He is equal to me," Billy warned them.

"Same goes for my kids, regarding you Billy," I said looking at my brood.

"We're doomed," Jake said. "This is a find how do you do," Jake griped some more.

"How do you do Jake? Let me introduce you to Mr. Sink," I said pointing toward the sink that was piled up with dirty pots and pans.

"Ugh, this is so unfair," Jake griped getting up and heading toward the sink.

"You know, I think Paul should help Jake since he was such a rude host to our guests. Paul, help Jake out," Billy said to Paul.

"Aww, come on, Chief Black," Paul grumbled also.

"See, it's starting already," Jake said as everyone but he and Paul laughed.

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**Please give Reviews!**_


	5. Chapter 5 -- Jake Put on the Spot

**Chapter 5 – Jake Put on the Spot**

_**Carlisle:**_

After Jake and Paul were done with the dishes, I decided to add a little discomfort in Jake's case and tease him about his camping outdoors decision instead of telling us of this lodge. We were all still inside and Jake was about to walk away from the sink.

"Hold it right there young man, I have something more to discuss with you," I said stopping Jake with my hand to his chest as he was going to leave the kitchen area.

"What did I do? I was doing the crummy dishes like you said. By the way, you sure are a messy cook! Could you dirty any more pots and pans?" Jake said to me.

"Listen Davy Crocket, what's the idea of having us camp outdoors when you knew this lodge was here?" I asked.

"Yeah, I want to know that too," Edward asked coming over and joining the conversation. That prompted Emmett, Jasper and Seth to join us and also got everyone else's attention including Billy and Sam.

"What fun would that be to camp in a lodge when you spooks are cooped up all day in the house," Jake replied.

"Spooks?" I said to him moving into his space a little more.

"Well, you guys are so…so…pale," Jake said grinning and backing away.

"Well, we're not going to change color," I said to him. "Then I heard you were the one who suggested building the lodge in the first place, because you, _(I poked him in the chest at this point)_ didn't like camping outdoors," I said backing him up even more now.

"Funny thing about that," Jake started to say.

"There's nothing funny about it, I was almost mauled by the vampire owl," Emmett said adding his two cents.

"You're upset with me and he's still yammering on about a mythical vampire owl," Jake said to me.

"It's not typical," Emmett said.

"Not typical; mythical," Jasper said to Emmett. "Idiot!" Jasper added shaking his head.

"Hey, I'm not…what's mythical?" Emmett asked.

"It means it doesn't exist, doofus," Jasper informed Emmett.

"Yes it does. It almost carried me off," Emmett said again.

"Stop trying to change the subject, Jacob. Answer me young man," I said to Jake backing him up again.

"Yes, answer the man, Jake," Billy added.

"Oh now you're joining in," Jake said to Billy.

"I'm the one who told him it was your idea to build the lodge," Billy said laughing.

"What? What's the matter with you? I told you what he does to me," Jake said to Billy.

"I told him he should tan your hide good for pulling a stunt like that. I certainly would," Billy added.

"Oh, well aren't you the most helpful and informative guy around," Jake said smartly to Billy.

"Watch your mouth, young man," I said to Jake.

"Me? What about him?" Jake said pointing to Billy.

"What about not wanting to camp outdoors so you suggested they build a lodge?" I said to Jake again.

"It was a suggestion and they took it and ran with it," Jake replied.

"Don't believe him Dr. Cullen, he practically cried until we relented and agreed to find the funds to build this lodge," Embry said.

"Hey, friends don't rat friends out. What kind of wolf brotherhood do you belong to?" Jake said to Embry.

"The kind that wants to see you finally get your ass beat," Embry said laughing.

"Stick around and you just may see that happen," I said to Embry. "Watch that language though, Embry," I said to him. "Jacob, you little snot, I outta belt you!" I said acting like I was serious. I then began to unbuckle my belt.

"No! Come on Dad…No!" Jake shouted with panic. "Not the belt, Dad!"

"Oh boy, here it comes," Jared yelled with glee.

"Okay, not the belt, but you're going to get it now," I said as I put my left foot up on a chair seat. "Okay then, over my knee, my little unhappy camper," I said to Jake patting my now bent knee.

"Ha ha, isn't he cute. He's always clowning with us," Jake said motioning at me and laughing.

With that I grabbed him and easily plopped him over my bent knee. He began protesting immediately and kicking his hands and feet wildly trying to get off my thigh. I held him down though and he was going nowhere.

"That's it Carlisle, let him have it," Billy egged on.

"Hey, whose side are you on?" Jake said looking over at Billy. Billy could hardly contain himself.

"I'm on the dad side and Carlisle and I are the dads so I say, make him feel it, Carlisle," Billy encouraged me.

"Don't mind if I do," I said raising my hand up.

"No, come on Dad, this is embarrassing," Jake complained to me.

"I think it's better than TV! I wish we had some popcorn," Quill said laughing.

"Yeah, laugh it up, just wait till one of you says a naughty word and Daddy Carlisle hears you. Then you won't be laughing," Jake warned them.

"Ready Jake," I asked aiming my hand at his upturned bottom.

"No, Dad…please…" Jake begged.

I then brought my hand down and gave him a light, stingy swat that barely hurt. I then ruffled his hair and grabbed him by his arm and pulled him up to face me. I was laughing as I looked at him and helped him to his feet.

"Get up," I said helping him off my knee. "Let that be a lesson to you for not giving us the whole picture, Young Man," I said shaking my finger at him.

"Yeah, we could have been in this lodge and not under the stars," Jasper barked at Jake.

"Aww, no fair! We're never going to get our dream fulfilled of Jake getting his butt tanned," Embry complained.

"I knew he was kidding the whole time," Jake said laughing and trying to save face. I immediately landed a hard, burning smack to his backside.

"Oww! Hey!" Jake said rubbing his bottom.

"That was a lie and you know it and lies will not be tolerated. Got it, or do I have to bend you back over?" I asked Jake glaring at him.

"Got it, Dad," Jake said rubbing the sting out. Billy and Sam were laughing along with everyone else.

"Why don't we all go outside and sit around the campfire and talk about how we want the lodge to be so we can get an idea of how much work there will be and try to make some plans," Billy suggested.

We all went outside and Sam and Paul made a nice campfire while the others were gathering up sticks and kindling to keep the fire going. We all found a spot to sit down on except Jake who was over by himself scratching his rump from his poison.

"Jake, stop scratching. You'll only make it spread and it will not go away," I called to him.

"It itches, Dad. Why isn't it gone already? What's with this advanced healing anyway?" Jake complained.

"It can't heal because you keep scratching it. Stop scratching and give a chance to heal," I said to him.

"Come on and sit down Jacob so we can get started," Billy called to him.

Jake then made his way over and was still scratching his poison. He got over by Seth and me and stopped and looked for a seat. Unfortunately there was none, just like I wanted. He looked around and then started balking.

"Hey, there's no place for me to sit," Jake complained again.

"Well, I didn't know if you could sit with having poison there," Embry said indicating Jake's rump.

"Over here, Jake, I have a place for you," I called to him. Jake then started over to me.

"See, my Dad has a seat for me. At least I'm appreciated at my new home," Jake said sticking his tongue out at Embry. "Where's the seat? There's no seat here," Jake stated.

"Oh yes there is, son. Right here, settle yourself right down on Daddy's knee," I said patting my right knee. Jake was horrified.

"Oh no! Not that! No way am I sitting there. That's worse than getting your ass beat," Jake said backing away.

"You're what?" I asked him.

"Oh great, getting your butt beat. I'm not sitting there, its too embarrassing," Jake griped backing away again. "This is another of his punishments. He makes us sit on his knee when we've messed up and he usually does it when company is around."

"That's right. You should have thought of that when talking us into camping and not telling us about a lodge! Over here Jakey boy, no getting out of it, come on, sit down, Billy wants to start the meeting," I said once again patting my leg.

"I should have never suggested going camping," Jake said resignedly walking over to his reserved seat. I looked up and smiled at him. He begrudgingly sat down on my leg letting out a defeated sigh. Everyone was laughing at Jake's distress. His wolf pack buddies were beside themselves laughing at his expense.

"Comfy?" I asked him putting my hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at me with a forced grin.

"Just like sitting on a feather bed," Jake said with sarcasm.

"Good, that's my boy," I said to him.

"A feather bed made out of marble!" Jake said rolling his eyes. I smacked his bottom lightly.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," I said to him. The wolf pack was in stitches.

"I give up," Jake said leaning back against me and getting comfortable.

We then began discussing what the wolf pack wanted in the lodge. They each wanted their own room, a large common area and living room with a kitchen area all in one. We will add a clinic onto the lodge and it will have its own entrance and be in the back. Sam and Emily will also have a suite for themselves and so will Billy. We are also putting in a gym and Emmett was explaining that he would come and train them and get them into shape. Everyone was on board with the new lodge and all agreed they would be willing to build it themselves with the proper instructions and under the tutelage of a builder and construction worker. After our meeting some of the pack went off to themselves. Seth was with some of his buddies but Jake was still stuck where I had sat him. Emmett, Edward and Jasper were still sitting with us and were talking with Sam and Billy about the gym.

As we were talking, Emmett felt something touch him on the cheek. He brushed it off. After a minute or two, he felt something again and brushed at it. Then two large wings came on each side of him and grabbed at him. Emmett jumped up screaming and pulled at the wings. We all looked and Paul had dressed up in a huge owl costume and had sneaked up behind Emmett and was touching him with the owl wings. Emmett was in a panic. He pulled both wings off.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Pops! Pops! I told you it was huge. It came back to get me. Help! Help! Run for your lives!" Emmett screamed running away.

He then looked back and Paul got up and went charging after him. Everyone was laughing. Paul ran after Emmett who still had the two wings in his hands and Paul jumped and landed on Emmett's back. Emmett was screaming his lungs out.

"Paul! Stop it right now!" Sam yelled to him.

"Emmett, don't run, its just Paul!" I called to him.

Emmett had tripped in his hurry to get away and fell down on the ground. Paul then pounced on his back and was acting like he was trying to lift him up and carry him off.

"Pops! Eddie! Jazzy! Help! Help me. Jake, I hate this camping trip! Seth, cubbie, help! Don't let it take me," Emmett screamed.

Sam ran over and grabbed Paul and pulled him off. He yanked him back and held onto him. I let Jake up and I ran over to Emmett and grabbed him up.

"Emmett, it was just Paul in a costume, turn around and look," I said to him.

"No it wasn't! I told you it was huge. You guys wouldn't believe me. Kill it!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, turn around now," I ordered him.

Emmett very carefully turned around to see Paul in the owl suit, except for the two wings lying down next to Emmett. Sam pulled the owl head off and Paul was standing there grinning and waved at Emmett. Emmett got his senses back and realized it was Paul.

"Hey, that wasn't funny. That was a low-down dirty trick," Emmett said.

"You're too easy, Emmett," Paul said laughing.

"Paul that was not nice. You need to apologize to Emmett for scaring him. You're lucky he didn't hurt you," Sam said to Paul.

"Oh come on, it was all in fun. I couldn't resist it," Paul said laughing.

"Where did you get that costume?" Edward asked.

"We use it in our ceremonies. Sometimes we're asked to perform native dances for the communities or schools," Sam explained.

"Man, I thought I was a goner," Emmett said. Jazz and Edward were laughing.

"For the last time, it wasn't a man-sized owl. It was only a foot tall," I said to Emmett.

"No it wasn't, there's proof," Emmett said pointing to Paul still in the costume.

"He's kidding, right?" Sam asked me.

"No, unfortunately he's not," I said shaking my head.

"This kind of stuff goes on everyday with Emmett," Jasper said waving his hand at his brother.

"There's never a dull moment with Emmett," Edward said.

"Paul, take that costume off and we can get ready for lunch," Billy said.

Sam and Jared made hot dogs over the fire and inside Billy and Edward and Seth made macaroni and cheese. When lunch was ready, everyone came out and the wolf pack all grabbed a paper plate and got down to business eating. Paul came out and grabbed a plate and was ready to sit down to eat.

"Paul, Carlisle would like to talk to you for a minute," Billy said to Paul. Paul looked over to me and looked back at Billy. "Go on son, you need to answer to him for teasing Emmett," Billy said to him. Paul reluctantly walked over to me and stood before me.

"Yes Dr. Cullen?" Paul said to me.

"Have fun with your little prank?" I asked him.

"Sure did. Emmett was petrified," Paul laughed.

"I don't think that was very nice to scare him like that so, how about you sit here with me and we have a little chat," I said to Paul.

Paul looked around and didn't see anywhere to sit. "Right here, son," I said patting my knee again. "Jake's got it all warmed up for you," I said to him. Paul looked around and all the wolf pack and my boys were grinning and trying to hold in their laughter. Especially Emmett.

"Payback's a bitch," Emmett said laughing.

"Emmett! Watch that language," I warned him.

"I guess there's no way I'm getting out of this, huh?" Paul asked me.

"Let me answer that, Dad. There's no way in hell you're getting out of a punishment from Dad, just sit your little ass down there and get all comfy-cosy," Jake said laughing.

"What did I tell you about that language, mister?" I said giving Jake a look.

"Oops," Jake said.

"Seems like you didn't learn anything earlier so I think it would be best if you and Paul both sit on my lap. Both of you, over here now," I said to them. They both knew they had no choice so they both came and each sat on my knees. They were going at each other back and forth.

"You realize he's going to do these kind of things to us while were working on the lodge," Jake said to Paul.

"Yeah, I see what you mean. Now he gave Billy and Sam ideas," Paul bemoaned.

"We're doomed," Jake said. The whole bunch laughed. "Yeah, just you wait. All of you, you're day is coming too. No one is exempt where Daddy Cullen is concerned," Jake warned them. "Here's all the proof you need!"

The others laughed, but then stopped and thought about what Jake had just said. They best listen…

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**Please Review!**_


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